Obituary of Diane Elizabeth AuCoin
Diane Elizabeth Robb AuCoin
A most Beautiful Elegant and Very Bright Light was Extinguished today Wednesday December 18th at 1:15 this afternoon, after an arduous battle with Cancer. She died at home as we both wanted, comfortably and peacefully, she simply just stopped breathing.
Celebration of Life will be held in Halifax and Chéticamp, later in January. Dates to be announced on this site once they are finalized.
Diane’s Story
Diane Elizabeth Robb AuCoin of Halifax Nova Scotia. With several nicknames along the way: Pinky, Lady Di (prior to Princess Diana), Ma Tante Diane & l’Acadienne de l’Amarique.
Per-deceased by her parents Edith Estelle Rogers and Donald Arthur Robb, Brothers: Denny and David Survived by: Husband Joseph Claude AuCoin (Married 36 years) Brothers: Donald Jr. “Butch” (Edna) Philippines, Douglas (Maureen) Bath, Maine. Robb Family Nieces and Nephews: Michael, Kevin, Patrick, Anne, Natalie, Kassandra, Joshua and Zoë. AuCoin Family Pre-deceased: parents Edouard François “Eddie a Médric”, Marie Henriette (LeBlanc) Brothers; Léonce, Marcel, Cyril (Sally) and Robert (Mary). Survived by: Michel (France), Réné (Shelly), Réjean (Yolande), Gérard (Joan), Nicole (Scott). AuCoin Family Nieces and Nephews: Brigitte, Jacynthe, Jean-Michel, Nicolas, Antoine, Arielle, Karina, Hayley, André, Karolyn, Rachelle and Marcelle.
Born in Longmeadow, Massachusetts. Associate Degree in Nursing; Springfield Community College, Springfield, Mass. Bachelor of Nursing; Georgetown University, Washington, DC. Masters of Science in Nursing; University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, 2 Years Family Therapy; under Supervisor Barbara Krasner PHD, King of Prussia, PA. 3 Years Fine Arts; NSCAD, Halifax. Masters in Art Therapy; Concordia University, Montréal. Worked for numerous years in different Nursing & Therapeutic disciplines, including; Georgetown University Hospital, Washington DC, Friends Hospital and Philadelphia Child Guidance Clinic in Philadelphia, Private Practice Therapy in Digby and finished off her career as a Clinical Nurse Specialist; IWK in Halifax.
A very beautiful, elegant and bright light has been extinguished! The Love of my life for almost 38 years. In many ways we were from 2 different worlds, but we shared some common bonds; our mothers were both 40 years old when we were born, she lost a brother when she was 10 and I lost a brother when I was 13, family was very important to both of us. We both loved; art, esthetics, architecture, food and wine, lifelong learning, reading, travel, entertaining, dinner parties, long walks, the ocean, nature, laughter, gardening, walks on the beach while collecting interesting rocks, shells, driftwood... She was the introvert, I was the extrovert, for dinner parties she would always set a very elegant table and make wonderful desserts, and I would cook up a storm.
She had a beautiful mind, when she attended Concordia in Montréal, I would stay with her for a few months in the fall and winter. I went to the library a few times with her, and they knew her by name, Concordia has 50,000 students... Students were allowed to take out 50 books and she was always at her limit.
It was no mystery to me why she became a Psychiatric Nurse, she had this amazing gift; acquaintances and strangers would open up to her and reveal their life stories. I witnessed this on numerous occasions and often if she was sitting on a park bench, total strangers would come and sit right next to her and start revealing their most intimate feelings and problems, she called it the gift and the curse.
Our Story:
We met Christmas evening 1986, at the time I was working at my very first Chef ‘s position at Beardsley’s Restaurant in Northampton, Mass. Diane was living in Philadelphia and was home for the Holidays, her mother has passed away that year and this was her 1st Christmas without her mom. They were visiting friends and family throughout the day, and she arrived at around 9:00 pm with her father Don and her brother Don Jr. “ Butch”. I had been invited by Laura who was a waitress at the restaurant to spend the day at her brother’s house with his family as I was by myself. It had been a long day, there since noon and I didn’t know anyone except for Laura. When Diane arrived, well that changed everything, she was so beautiful and she carried herself with such elegance and style, she had taken ballet as a child, and it showed. We hit it off, we flirted and undenounced to us, Laura had set this all up. I had brought a nice bottle of Bordeaux, and she enjoyed and appreciated the quality of the wine, other guests were mainly drinking beer. At one point in the conversation, she asked how it was working in such a competitive business and my answer was “ Well not in not Northampton it isn’t” as we were the best restaurant in the area. Diane had been working as a nurse while attending Georgetown University prior to moving to Philadelphia and Dr’s would often ask her out with this line: I don’t suppose maybe you would consider and by that point the answer was already No. The fact that I was comfortable in my own skin and confident both intrigued and kind of scared her. I was by no means a lady’s man, but I was a hot young Chef running a very successful restaurant and that confidence shone through. The next day Laura had mention to me at work that Diane might come by for a drink after the Restaurant closed, since she was leaving the next day, her dad lived 30 minutes away. Around 10:00 pm she called and told Laura that she was not going to make it after all, I told Laura “Well probably a good thing since she probably wouldn’t have made it out of Northampton tonight”, Laura relayed the message and again she was very intrigued but also scared to some degree.
A month or so later, Laura brought a Yankee Magazine which featured food purveyors in Western New England that Diane had sent to her, with instructions to pass it on to me once she was finished with it. I enjoyed the articles and asked Laura if she thought it was ok if I wrote to Diane to thank her for the magazine, she said yes and would bring in her address the next day, I said no need it’s on the magazine label. Laura said “the little devil”. Diane has always sworn that was not intended.
With the first letter, I sent her a pair of earrings and mentioned that I thought they would go nicely with the outfit she was wearing the night we met. That gave me lots of bonus points! From that point on we started exchanging letters and Diane was coming home for Easter so we planned our 1st date. Her Brother Douglas was visiting from Germany and the family would be gathered at her Aunt Dot’s (Dorothy) in Westfield, I would pick her up at her Aunt’s house in the afternoon. Once I arrived, I stayed for a few hours, I just thought that was the polite thing to do, Diane said later well maybe as a Chef I was just tired and welcomed sitting down for a while. At one point Aunt Dot asked Diane to help her in the kitchen and Diane thought it was a strange request since all she was going to do was put a few store-bought cookies on a plate. Once in the kitchen she turned to Diane and said, “if I were you dear I would latch on to this one”. She was not able to make it to our wedding as she was getting older, she did send a card and stated if it had not been for the slight difference in our ages she would have given Diane a run for her money – very cute. Diane and I hit it off beautifully, she ended up staying an extra day. We continued some letter correspondence and started calling each other.
About a month later I was able to get some time off from work and came down to visit her in Philadelphia for our 2nd date. I had brought a rack of lamb and other fixing to prepare a gourmet meal, I had also brought this amazing bouquet of flowers and another pair of earrings. We had a wonderful time I took her out to a very fancy French restaurant called La Truffe (where I later became the Chef). Diane took me to Reading Terminal, a huge indoor Food Market, that was a wonderful experience for me. I took her clothes shopping (more bonus points) and I was really smitten by that point. Diane was still a little unsure as this was going pretty fast. Another aspect that kind of freaked her out was that on a few occasions after Easter, her brother Butch and her father would come and pick me up ( I did not have a car, I had rented one for our 1st date) to spend part of the day, they took me out to lunch once and I also cooked for them. Well this kind of freaked her out as her family had not really liked any of previous men that she had brought home and who was dating who Douglas who was visiting from Germany during Easter said later “I was really prepared not to like him but I just couldn’t do it”!
After my visit to Philadelphia, we spoke a lot on the phone and were looking at ways to make this relationship work. Then suddenly in early June, let’s say due to working visa issues, my job at Beardsley’s was no more. For me one of the lures of being a Chef was travelling, exploring the world, I had by then worked in Montréal and Val-David Québec, St. John’s Nfld. Switzerland twice, Bermuda, a Vineyard in the South France and sailed from Bermuda to Portugal working as the Chef on board. The way I saw it I had 2 option; the 1st being move in with her in Philadelphia or go somewhere around the world to work and lord knows if I would ever see her again. I broke the news to Diane and this really freaked her out as the relationship was moving way too fast. But in the end Philadelphia was and our 3rd Date if you can call it that. We were married on November 12, 1988 in Philadelphia, in a English and French Ceremony, my parents walked me down the aisle and when Diane’s father handed her over to me after their walk down the aisle, I kissed her as I couldn’t resist, she looked stunning and Father Devine who married us said “ well that was very French of you”. That summer we spent a wonderful week in the Magdeline Island as a pre-honey mood vacation, after a week in Chéticamp.
From Philadelphia we moved to France and Belgium, I worked as a Chef at Hotel and Diane waitressed (new experience for her). After my contract was up, I worked as an apprentice at a 1 Star, 2 Star, 3 Star Michelin Restaurants for a couple of months each; this was sort of my Graduate School Education in a way. While living in Europe Diane’s older brother David became terminally ill with cancer, we both came back to visit, Diane stayed and nursed him at home until his journey ended and I had gone back to France. When she returned the winter blues really kicked in and she ended up taking some art classes while we were in Brussels, and this tapped into her creative artistic side.
From there we moved to Canada where I became Chef at the Digby Pines for 15 years, during that time Diane pursued her artistic talents at NSCAD in Halifax for 3 years and then a Masters in Art Therapy at Concordia University in Montréal. Upon her return she started Private Practice Therapy in Digby and the Annapolis Valley area with a wonderful Studio space at the Oakdene Center in Bear River. Then we moved to Halifax in 2008 where I started working at NSCC Akerley as a Culinary Faculty and Diane worked at IWK as a Clinical Nurse Specialist.
There were certainly some ups and downs in our marriage as men and women are very different to begin with, one could also say 2 different species. We tried to have children and there were some complications, we ended up doing 2 rounds of IVF while we lived in Philadelphia and that is quite an emotional journey to navigate. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. While I was Chef at the Pines in Digby, I was working a crazy amount of hours and she was at times very lonely. She had dogs growing up and also as a young adult. The dog situation had been raised in the past, my mother was terrified of dogs and this led me to not like dogs at all, not even a bit. One day she said look “ we are either going to get a dog or I am going to have an affair”. I said “Do you have anybody in mind” she said no, so I kind of agreed to let her get a dog. She was exploring several breed options; she had shown dogs as a teenager. We came up to Halifax to visit a breeder of King Charles Cavalier Spaniels. As we were sitting in the breeder’s living room there were several dogs milling around Diane and the breeder, and I was sitting in a chair at the opposite end of the living room. Then all of a sudden, one of the dogs took a bead on me and as he was in midair about to jump on my lap, my arm came out instinctively and he went skittering back in the direction he came from. Well, that put an end to that visit in a hurry! Diane’s mother had hated cats and always said cats couldn’t care less about you. Diane had liked cats to some degree as her Aunt Betty and Uncle Charles had some at the farm, I had grown up with barn cats. So, we explored getting a cat, we went to the shelter in Digby and found a cat that we liked and as we were filling out the paperwork one of their condition was the cat needed to be inside only. I have always thought it was cruel to have indoor cats, so we walked away. The next weekend, this was in the fall after the resort was closed, we lived in an apartment on the 2nd floor on the resort property. it was a Saturday we were listening to opera on CBC and Diane said do you hear a baby crying, I did not but eventually we looked out the window and down in the yard there was this orange cat with his fur all matted who didn’t look too good, he was a little bit less than a year old. We/ Diane nursed him back to health and we had Minou for 18 years and he was such a character and a true gentleman. He also became the resort cat and daily at 4:30 pm he would wander over to the main entrance and greet Bus Tour passengers and get a little petting from the older ladies coming off the bus. After he passed away Diane said she could never replace him; but 15 months later we adopted Lulu who has been quite wonderful and has been sleeping with Diane in her hospital bed on and off for the last 3 months she was with her when she died. Lulu is what the Vet called a scrapper, inn the summer she lays in our flower beds in the front yard and any passing dog no matter the size, gets a very good swipe from Lulu. She will even stomp down the driveway and show them who’s boss. Some people who walk their dog cross over on the other side of the street when they get to our house, all that from a 12-pound (5.5 kg) cat. I think it’s pretty funny, dog owners might not think so.
I would like to Thank: Palliative Care Services, VON, Continuing Care Services, Closing the Gap Home Care Agency, Oncology Team at Centennial & Dickson Building and the Red Cross. They certainly gave me support and made it much easier to care for Diane at home for the last three and a half months. Special thanks to friends and family for their support and unconditional love. A very special thanks to Cathy and Steve Lunn; Steve helped me this fall with yard and garden work, transports services for Diane with numerous medical appointments and much more. As for Cathy, Diane’s walking Buddy; WOW she came to the house or when she was in the hospital for 2 weeks, every afternoon to give me some respite since early September. I think she missed 1 day; they even cancelled a 2-week cruise they had booked in September to be with Diane and myself. Donations can be made to Charity of your choice.
To Ma Belle Diane My Love, Mon Amour: It is a true blessing to have loved fully with one’s whole heart and whole being and to have been loved in the same way! Although this end-of-life journey which started back in June, little did we know back then, has been the most difficult and heart wrenching experience of my life. Our love only blossomed during that time and there have also been moments of pure joy along the way. I was happy and blessed that I could devote this time to keeping you at home as you wanted. I will treasure you for the rest of my life and the journey we have led together! This past Sunday afternoon the last time she spoke in one of her lucid moments she said, “You have made me so Happy and I hope you will be Happy”.
Arrangements have been entrusted to Serenity Funeral Home, 34 Coldbrook Village Park Dr., Coldbrook, NS, B4R 1B9 (902-679-2822).
