Obituary of Jim Hayden
James “Jim” Margeson Hayden, age 79, passed away peacefully at Heart of the Valley Long Term Care Centre in Middleton, NS on Sunday, April 6, 2025, a few short weeks before his 80th birthday.
Born April 25, 1945 in Montreal, Quebec, Jim was the second eldest son of former Berwick Mayor Sam and Mrs. Emma (Margeson) Hayden. Jim is survived by older brother Sam (Debbie) Hayden of Lake George, only sister Wendy (Bud) Pauze of Berwick, youngest brother Fred (Patricia) Hayden of Lake George; three nephews: Patrick (Tara) Bourgeois, Murray Corner NB, Ric (Melissa) Hayden, Cambridge, Nathaniel James (Jim's namesake) (Trina) Hayden, Lake George; Niece Caroline Hayden (Toronto), Niece Heidi (Adam) Buchanan, Lake George; Niece Jazmine
(Daniel) Hayden-Kyte, Halifax; and numerous grand-nephews and nieces. Jim was predeceased by his first-born niece Lorrie Hayden of Vancouver.
Jim attended Berwick School but was self-admittedly not scholastically inclined, recess being his favorite subject! He did enjoy team sports, especially soccer and hockey while in school and continued hockey into his adult years as a member of Berwick's Old Timers League.
Jim's favorite pastime was fishing and this he learned to do as a child when we spent every summer at Lake George in our Grandfather Margeson's cottage. We would pack up and move to the lake the last day of school and usually return the day before "Gala Days" in Berwick. Living on the lake all summer, Jim became a great fisherman, a strong swimmer, and competent water skier. The brother we knew in those days was good at a lot of things. Pa Margeson influenced all our lives in many ways. He was an avid gardener as was Jim for many years. He taught us all to play cards-Rummy, Solitaire, Crazy S's and our favorite, Auction 45's. Pa Margeson lived on Cottage Street in Berwick, behind the old Post Office and in the non-summer months we spent many Friday and Saturday nights at Pa's place playing cards. Somewhere in the mix Jim learned to play crib and he in turn taught his niece Heidi to play one summer at the Lake. Jim was fond of saying that once he taught Heidi how to play crib, she beat him at his own game thereafter. Jim loved watching the kids grow and learn to do all the wonderful things kids learn on the lake. Jim also played a lot of crib in the days he frequented the Berwick Legion.
Jim eventually saved sufficient money to purchase a mahogany hull from a boat building enterprise on the south shore and with his father's help, built a magnificent speed boat and equipped it with a 40 hp engine. Our brother was nothing but generous in terms of teaching his younger siblings how to drive the boat and helped us all in turn with our water skiing. Many were the days we made several trips back to Howard Beals' garage at the bottom of the South Mountain to "fill up the gas tank" so we could continue to ski until dark.
After our Grandfather Margeson's death the cottage at the lake was sold. Fortunately, our mother had a small lot that adjoined our grandfather’s property and this lot was soon occupied by family campers, tents and eventually Jim's trailer, as we could not leave fun-filled summers at Lake George behind. These days at the lake were perhaps Jim's happiest years. He spent countless hours fishing up in the coves bringing home his evening meal. This was where Jim developed another of his life-long pastimes-he was a voracious reader of non-fiction and his favorite subjects were the First and Second World Wars. When he had read everything available at the Berwick Library, he moved on too many other topics and for someone who never excelled in formal education, Jim kept himself aware of world events and could match most college grads in an intelligent conversation on a myriad of topics. Berwick Library Staff knew Jim very well!
Occasionally we would visit our paternal Grandparents in Upper Woodstock, NB (Frank and Grace (Plummer) Hayden; our Uncle Jim and Aunt Dorothy (Hayden) McBride), and our Uncle Ivan (Carrie) Hayden of Woodstock proper. Jim loved to play with his Woodstock cousins (Bob, Rick, Brian and Brent Hayden) in the back shed of Pa Hayden's house at Upper Woodstock and there are great pictures of Jim and the boys dressed up in Al Capone style clothing, complete with guns/rifles and one of our Uncle Ivan's prohibition era antique cars. Sometimes on these trips we would get to go on to Riley Brook NB to visit our Great Uncles and Great Aunts. Two of our Great Uncles, Jim and Ralph Hayden, owned sports (fishing/hunting) camps in the Tobique and our Jim relished these visits. Again, there are family photos of Jim's huge catches of Trout, not to mention the occasional Salmon. Jim would sit and listen to the camp life stories of the cookie (our paternal Grandmother Grace Hayden) and to those of "Pa Hayden who could tell the best stories ever about the many visitors (mostly wealthy Americans) to the sports camps and the antics that would go on. Jim often wished that we had made recordings of those wonderful tales.
Back to reality, soon after Jim started high school, he convinced his father to let him quit and go to work at "Hayden Furniture Ltd." (our father’s business on Mill Street in Berwick). Jim became an expert at refinishing and spraying furniture and during the summer he would escape the intense heat of the spray booth by working all night into the wee hours of the morning. He and his brother Sam completed huge refinishing contracts their father negotiated with CFB Greenwood and sometimes Dad had to make impromptu trips to Halifax to pick up more lacquers so Jim could complete a big job. In those days Jim was happy and pretty much a free spirit, had lots of friends and joked that he was the "Best Man" at many of his friends' weddings, just never the "Groom"!! Jim was a great dancer and was sometimes asked by female acquaintances to accompany them to dances as they didn't want to go alone and knew he would dance with them all until the last record was spun. Occasionally he would take his sister dancing when she would come home from NB for the weekend, and we all remember the time when 85-year-old Great Aunt Susie from Calgary was visiting and he took her to the Greaser Dance on Labour Day Weekend! Jim could really "disco" a la John Travolta and "jiving" with Jim was awesome! During the "Elvis" years Jim and a few others would start dancing at "Rice's Restaurant" to the Jukebox until they would get in trouble with Mrs. Rice or perhaps even "Sonny" himself!
In the early 70's Jim decided he would like to learn how to fly and spent many hours studying and learning to fly at the Waterville Airport until he earned his private pilot's license. Sister Wendy was still working in Dorchester, NB at this time and Jim would sometimes fly to Moncton Airport, pick her up after work on Friday, and fly her home for the weekend. She remembers sensing how much her brother loved to fly and how safe she felt when he was in control of the plane.
As mentioned again and again Jim loved to fish and for several years, he spent a lot of time on the Bay of Fundy with his friend Clifton Oickle who owned a fishing boat out of Harbourville. Clifton and Jim spent wonderful days on the Bay of Fundy but Jim's biggest thrill was the day they latched onto a shark (Jim thought it was a Mako). Jim was leaning over the stern when suddenly a huge gapping mouth full of teeth appeared within inches of his face. Even just a few days ago when Jim was recounting that story to his sister, they both suffered an adrenalin rush-Jim said it was a good half hour before he regained his voice and composure that day on the water and all Wendy could think of was the movie "Jaws" dum de dum de dum ...
In July 1990 with the death of his father and subsequent closing of Hayden Furniture Ltd., Jim's life changed forever. Gone were his father, his job, and the safe cocoon he had always known. The next year he lost his mother who had gone into Grand View Manor prior to his father’s passing. Jim's demons began to surface and while he found work to support himself, (a Bartender, Warehouseman, and as a Car Detailer), Jim lost his joie de vivre and became steadily more reclusive. When he retired at the age of 65, he took up residence in the Valley View Apartments on Cottage Street in Berwick, not far from the home in which he grew up. He made good friends there but he had become very much a loner. It was his next-door neighbour, Grace Lutz, who alerted the family to his illness (stroke) on July 17, 2014; co-incidentally, July 17th was his father's birth date. It was at this time that VRH doctors discovered Jim also had Type 2 Diabetes.
After the initial stroke, Jim had a long series of temporary accommodations at Valley Regional Hospital (VRH), Rehab at the Yarmouth Regional Hospital, a stint at the Transitional Care Unit and the Mayflower Unit at Soldiers Memorial Hospital (SMH) in Middleton before ending up at Fundy Villa in Berwick, followed by several years at New Visions in South Berwick until August 2015.
In November/December 2020 and into early January 2021, Jim suffered several mini strokes and then a heart attack. Sister was at his side, each time thinking it might be their final conversation; however, Jim (or perhaps his higher power), dictated otherwise. His main concern was to let his sister know he was ready to go and he asked her to thank everyone-doctors, nurses, LPN's, nursing assistants, cleaning staff, cooks and kitchen helpers, gardeners, just everyone involved in and around all the facilities he lived in, for their tireless care and support during his declining years. He admitted he was quite often grumpy and a wee bit out of sorts and recognized they overlooked his "darker side" and treated him very well despite himself.
On August 5, 2021, Jim was finally placed at Heart of the Valley Long Term Care Centre in Middleton, NS where he remained until his death. The accommodations at Heart of the Valley are beautiful. He had his own private room, bathroom, and a comfortable living area. Staff found him an older but serviceable recliner and that was positioned near the large windows looking out to the beautiful gardens or he could draw the curtains and turn on his large-screened TV to watch the History Channel or Discovery Channels, or he could read to his heart's content. He had everything he could ask for but he seldom left his room except to cross the corridor to the dining room for his meals and never ventured outside to sit in all that beauty. Eventually, not even his sister was able to entice him to go out for coffee, for a meal or for the long drives they both enjoyed so much.
The darkest days of Jim's (and possibly that of his sister's), life occurred November 25/26, 2024. Jim was being treated for sores on his foot that were not healing. His sister visited him on November 25th when he was complaining about foot pain and she asked Jim to remove his sock so she could see. Wendy immediately sought nursing staff as it was evident to her that a black toe was big trouble. Another long story short, Jim's foot to above the knee was amputated the following afternoon by Dr. MacPherson at VRH.
Jim somehow muddled through all of this. He was confused a great deal of the time and staff had to place a floor monitor in his room to let them know should be attempt to leave his bed. He was on oxygen 24/7, had a catheter, was not eating, and blood sugars difficult to manage. These were Jim's final days. To me he exhibited more strength, courage and raw determination than anyone I have ever known.
TO OUR BROTHER: Jim, since you did not want visitation nor a funeral, this atypical obituary is meant to be a celebration of your life as only your family can know it. We will miss you and choose to remember you as you were in your youth-blonde, curly hair, huge blue eyes that sparkled and teased, a Colgate smile and gregarious personality.
We love you and we look forward to meeting you again on the Other Side.
Rest in Peace.
At Jim's request there will be no visitation and no funeral. There will be a small private family gathering at his grave site in Berwick Cemetery later in the Spring. Cremation has taken place and final arrangements have been entrusted to Serenity Funeral Home and Chapels, 198 Coldbrook Village Drive, Coldbrook.
